• Earl Merkel • • • • • Author, Writer, & Occasional Iconoclast . . .
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Welcome, Faithful Readers! (To all others: "Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter Here...") • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • |
A Note To New Readers (Or Those Already Exposure-Scarred By Previously Visiting Us On This Author's Homepage Site. . .) If you've come here —intentionally, or by happy accident, or under duress from one of my loyal corps of Faithful Readers— you've likely realized (or have been warned) that this website is a relatively accurate reflection of an oft-tormented, oft-bemused, oft-charitably-described-as-"eclectic" writer's psyche. This writer's psyche, at least. (Alas!) Like most people who write for a living, I'm a meat-hunter— by both nature and circumstance. For that reason alone, expect the not-infrequent plea-'n-pitch for you to "buy my books." (For another excellent reason, my publishers insist on hawking The Product. Frequently. Incessantly, even.) But please: don't let that stop you from buying my books. Still, I hope you'll also excuse such side-trips into crass commercialism... primarily, because they make me blush; but also, because I trust that you'll see them for what they are: the fast-forward-through-'em PBS-style pledge drives that pay the freight. (See above: "But please: don't let that stop you etc.") In return for your patience, you'll receive what I hope is other content that you'll find entertaining, amusing... or even (occasionally) edifying. Clicking on the links (at left) will take you there. So (buy my books!) welcome to the Official Earl Merkel Website (buy my books!), where I hope new readers will become Faithful Readers (buy my books!) as we sidle along in our Ongoing Adventure here, together. Ahem. We now rejoin our regular programming, eternally in progress... — EM • • •• • Earl Merkel is the author of FIRE OF THE PROPHET (Diversion Books, 2013), VIRGINS AND MARTYRS (Five Star), FINAL EPIDEMIC (Diversion Books - originally published byPenguinPutnam/NAL) and DIRTY FIRE (Diversion Books - originally published by PenguinPutnam/NAL). • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • A Disclaimer For All Content Herein...
"Yeah: what he said. That's my story too, and I'm sticking to it..." — Earl Merkel |
| Observations & Rantings | ||
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From our "Every Dog Has His Day" -archives: Times have changed since the famous National Lampoon cover in 1972; today, the extortion notes are being written —and the gun held— by a different paw entirely. Turnabout is, truly, fair play— but I already hear the chorus-from-critics: "Fire away, Fido..."
It's true: all readers, at least initially, DO judge a book by its cover. So do authors. I haven't always been thrilled by mine— but oddly, like most authors, I've come to channel my inner Prof. Henry Higgins... humming, when I see them on a bookstore shelf, "I've Grown Accustomed To Her Face." It's not unlike running into your first girlfriend at a high school reunion... Yeah, we write. And we write Rough Drafts; really, REALLY rough. Mess with us, and you'll get to meet Club Member Alice. She's hell on typos, man... But seriously, folks: I'm considering founding a combined "outlaw motorcycle club & writers' group," and offering franchises in cities around the country. At left (above) are our (proposed) "colors"-- of course, with "YOUR CITY HERE" as the bottom "rocker" ...a temporary expedient, until somebody in your locality antes up the franchise fee. Motorcycle ownership is not mandatory --I think I can borrow a Vespa, but otherwise I'll be the outlaw low-life on the Schwinn-- but all Prospects should probably have written SOMEthing. (We'll settle for that franchise check, okay?) As an incentive, members will be able to choose their own club-monikers. Myself, I haven't decided between "Viper" or "First-Draft." Send your own alias-choice along with your application (and that check, dammit). First five applicants will receive a free "ORIGINAL" -member patch. And a glue-on three-day-growth beard-wig...
Still, it's better than having your editor say "My DOG wouldn't eat your manuscript!" * * * GOOGLE SEARCH KEYWORDS: earl merkel • editors • editors and kindly excuses for long editing 'delays' • humor • taste • tastes funny • tastes funny not as in 'humorous' • "thanks for your submission but it does not meet our current needs"
Great— just what I need: a mob of giggling, homicidal maniacs looking for a rafter over which to toss the noose... |
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